Sabine Heilmann-Stern

A Sermonette delivered at the Outreach Shabbat Service in May 2008 by Sabine Heilmann-Stern

Shabbat Shalom, my name is Sabine Heilmann-Stern and my family and I have been members of Congregation Beth Israel since 2002. I am a first generation American, both of my parents immigrated to the US from Germany in 1964. I was raised as a Lutheran. My family was not very religious but believed that going to Sunday school and being “confirmed” was important. We would attend services twice a year on Christmas Eve and Easter. My spiritual upbringing was very important because it gave me a foundation and provided me with a compass and an inner strength.
           
I’d like to think that my journey toward Judaism started by simply listening to and ultimately following my mom's advice, which was to “marry someone Jewish.” My mom commuted daily into New York City and she must have come across enough Jewish men to have a very positive assessment of them. In her words, “The Jewish men I meet are so educated and cultured, they are such gentlemen and they take care of their families.” all qualities which she held in high regard. 

Neil and I met in college and dated for many years. Neil was raised as a Conservative Jew and brought up in a home that kept a kosher kitchen. His maternal grandparents were practicing Orthodox Jews. His paternal grandparents survived pogroms in Russia. Our families had plenty of differences to focus on – but chose not to. During the time we dated, I was included in his family’s celebrations. His entire family was always warm and welcoming!   
           
When Neil and I became engaged, I knew that I needed to explore and understand what it meant to be an interfaith couple. How would we blend our families and celebrate holidays? Most of all, how would we spiritually and religiously raise our future children? Neil was confident that things would just work out fine, but I knew that I needed to get clear and search my heart for direction. I sought out books and articles on interfaith relationships and even scheduled an appointment with my Pastor. He was ultimately supportive of our relationship but strongly emphasized that we should decide ahead of time as a couple which ONE faith we would raise our children in so that they would not be confused. Worse yet would have been to choose no religion for them. Conversion was not something that I wanted nor was it something that Neil asked me to do. Ultimately we concluded that we could raise our children as Reform Jews and I supported that 100%.

After our Jewish wedding I signed us up to take an “Introduction to Judaism” course. On the way to the first class, Neil nearly broke out in hives recalling his less than pleasurable Hebrew education. It turned out to be a phenomenal course and I enjoyed learning more about Judaism. I told Neil that I felt really good about our decision to raise our children Jewish.

I also told him we would need to join a temple because this was not something to be done on our own. It would be an investment in our children’s future. 
           
We ultimately chose CBI because we loved its welcoming atmosphere and diverse make up with something for everyone! Now both of our children are in the choir and have developed friendships stemming from their passion for music and this enhances our attendance at services. And our family is even getting to take part in an INCREDIBLE trip to Israel with the Youth Choir and Cantor Bernstein this summer. 
           
We have a fabulous youth group director who the kids love! My girls really enjoy coming to Hebrew school. They have friends here and really connect with their teachers. We celebrated our daughter’s Bat-Mitzvah here and are so pleased that she was insistent upon continuing with CBI’s Hebrew High School. 
           
The clergy has also been there for our family. When my father-in-law was hospitalized suddenly, Rabbi Berk came to the hospital to say a mishaberach at his bedside. When he passed away, CBI’s clergy all helped our family through the extraordinarily difficult time, offering support and thoughtful guidance. They also came to our home to lead a shiva service.

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