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OUTREACH
STORIES
Story of How I Became
David Aharon ben Avraham v'Sarah
David Aharon
This is the story of how I became David Aharon ben Avraham v'Sarah.
Shortly after the turn of the century, my Grandparents fled the economic hardships
of Denmark and eventually settled in the Dakota territory. My parents were born
there. My father was a farm boy and my mother a small town girl.
Mother was able to graduate from high-school and although my father was not;
he was self-taught, and had a love of geography and history. When my father returned
from service in Europe during the second world war, they were married and began
a family that would eventually include two sons and two daughters. I was the
second child and second son.
In this land of "a little house on the prairie" there was limited opportunity
and my parents decided to join other family members who had emigrated to California.
I grew up in a loving, secure family, and was taught by example to be an ethical,
caring person. I was raised as a Lutheran.
My church youth group visited this very synagogue almost forty years ago. I'd
spent time throughout my life exploring various spiritual paths, including christian
and eastern theologies; and although offering some appealing aspects, I found
them all lacking or flawed in some essential way. Notes were struck, but no chords.
Eventually, I settled happily into an agnostic life, not feeling a need for organized
religion; and even if I had, Judaism hadn't seemed to be an available option.
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I don't know what Web-surfing string led me there, but on the Beth Israel internet
outreach page, I read stories others had written about their conversion experiences.
Something in them touched me and I began reading everything I could find regarding
Judaism on the Internet, then in suggested books and found that Jewish values
and beliefs seemed to resonate with my own.
After some time I decided that I needed to speak with a Rabbi. I didn't know
what to expect and was somewhat nervous. What was I doing? Why did I feel so
strongly drawn to pursue this? Why, in my fifties, did I want to change my entire
life?
I think I hoped to learn a way of living that had more purpose and structure.
After a short initial visit; even after Rabbi Stein explained that a person didn't
have to convert to believe in one G-d and have a share in the world-to-come,
the rules for non-Jews being a lot simpler than for Jews; I decided to join a
class in basic Judaism. A first step.
When people asked me if I was going to convert, I replied that I was just taking
a class to learn more about Judaism. "A period of infatuation" was how Rabbi
Stein had put it. There was no more deep personal commitment on my part than
I would have had on a first date. I was exploring Judaism and that was not the
same as entering into the process of conversion.
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At the synagogue, I immediately felt an affinity for the place and the people
there. I have never had the feeling that I was out of place or that I did not
belong. I felt very much at home. The Erev Shabbat services provided a time to
separate myself from the weeks' concerns. Rabbi Stein created such a meaningful
experience. I loved the sound of Hebrew to my ears and the music had an especially
strong effect on me. The Cantors' voice communicated such a deep, heart-felt
emotion and the traditional melodies touched my heart. There were moments when
tears came to my eyes.
In class, my studies were at first casual, wide-ranging and objective, but intriguing
enough that I wanted to learn more. This was not a mindless religion. Rabbi Stein
considered no question off limits.
This period of "courtship" progressed and I found my connection to Judaism and
it's traditions growing as I gained knowledge and experience. I built a whole
new library, that continues to grow, filled with novels, humor, commentary and
reference books. I felt immersed in Judaism.
As time went on, I began to feel an even deeper attraction, particularly for
Judaism's ethical values. The ethics of Torah could only be brought to life by
human acts; passive belief, unquestioning faith was not enough. I wanted to be
a righteous man and felt the responsibility of all righteous persons, of tikkun
olam: the healing of the earth; the mending of society.
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I tried identifying myself as Jewish before making a final decision on conversion.
I began wearing a Kipot and attempted to look at things from a Jewish point of
view. I took Dr. Al Rays' Hebrew class and learned much more than Alef-Bet. I
also attended Cantor Bernsteins' "How to Pray" class, the book fair and Rabbi
Telushkins' lecture. I visited Shabbat services for the elderly, hosted by a
couple from Judaism class, and spent Channuka with a friends' family.
It all seemed both right and inevitable. My relationship with my birth religion
had long ago ended and, although I respected my late parents' beliefs and valued
my background, it was no longer a part of me. I was free to adopt a Jewish way
of life, if I so chose.
After a year of study I realized I had fallen in love with a religion, a people
and a tradition. What do I love about Judaism? Intellectuality and independence
of mind, the highest ethical and moral standards, concern for social justice,
tenacity in the face of persecution. A strong sense of community and the opportunity
for shared celebration of life's joys and tragedies.
Judaism places realistic expectations on us all. It allows us to change. It allows
us to err. It acknowledges the journey we're all on. It offers excellent perspective.
It's a path to sacred living. I appreciate that Judaism moves people to help
create a better place for all to live. I love the fact it has been around for
thousands of years. A questioning of my intentions, a serious introspection,
would, I hoped, begin a lifetime of commitment.
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Have I made the right choice? Am I sure of my feelings? Is this relationship
the 'real thing'? Can it last a lifetime? Do I need more time to be sure? Am
I ready? Am I worthy to be a Jew? Asking these questions helped me to reaffirm
the answers I already knew. As Rabbi Stein predicted, there was a point in time
when felt I was already a Jew in my heart.
I made a decision to embrace Judaism and join my destiny with that of all Jews,
and began telling people that I would become a Jew. Some people assumed that
there must be an interfaith relationship involved. Why else would a person convert?
I was, in fact, creating an intermarriage. I'm married to someone who is not
Jewish and have a loving and accepting family that have been mostly supportive.
My wife and children accept what I'm doing as being important to me. I would
like to have my family be able to participate more in this aspect of my life,
but I doubt that they will ever understand why I chose to convert. Being honest
with yourself and consistent to your principles is never cheap. The things that
affect our relationships with those we love can be very difficult.
I've had to risk harming the good relationship I have with my family. I've had
to leave traditions behind and have created new ones for myself that I can not
share with my family. Things are lost or left behind while new ones come into
my life. I've heard that men who convert are in the minority, and even more so
when not tied to an intermarriage. A lot of people, some Jews included, can't
believe that there is something in the Jewish religion worth having. Something
that someone from the accepted, middle-class white Anglo-Saxon Protestant world
would want.
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I find the spiritual beliefs and cultural characteristics of Judaism profoundly
appealing. I felt that I genuinely wanted and needed what Judaism is and offers.
Meetings with the Rabbi took care of final details and established the outreach Erev
Shabbat service on Purim as my conversion date.
That evening was one of the most important in my life. I was supported there
by friends and my entire family. I had adapted a sample affirmation given to
me by Rabbi Stein and included a poem that was meaningful to me, both of which
I've included below. I was so blessed to have Rabbi Stein as a mentor and am
sure he realizes how seriously I take this commitment.
A conversion is not just joining a club or social organization. It's closer to
an adoption, but not quite. What conversion really is, is dying as a gentile
and rebirth as a Jew. I know becoming a Jew is a lifelong journey that lasts
far past the conversion ceremony. Each person must find their own way of integrating
Judaism into their life in a meaningful way. I believe that Judaism embraces
those who embrace it with an open heart and will be forever a part of the Jewish
people, my life and lot inexorably linked to theirs.
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Affirmation:
I, David Aharon, make known in the presence of God, my relatives, and the congregation
gathered here to witness, that I consider myself to be a Jew; linked to my people
by religion, culture and history. I affirm my acceptance of Jewish values and
beliefs and join my destiny with that of the Jewish people, my life and lot forever
linked to theirs. I will always strive to be righteous, to love mercy and promise
that I will try to live in accordance with the ethics of the Torah. I make these
affirmations and embrace Judaism of my own free will.
I am a Jew
Written by Franta Bass at Terezin Concentration Camp
where he was sent at 11 years of age.
I am a Jew and will be a Jew forever.
Even if I should die from hunger,
never will I submit.
I will always fight for my people,
on my honor.
I will never be ashamed of them,
I give my word.
I am proud of my people,
how dignified they are.
Even though I am suppressed,
I will always come back to life.
Franta died in Auschwitz at the age of 14.
Sh'ma Yis-ra-eil Adonai Eh-lo-hei-nu
Adonai Eh-chad!
Hear, O Israel: the Eternal One is our God,
the Eternal One alone!
Do not urge me to leave you,
to turn back and not follow you.
for wherever you go, I will go;
wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people,
and your God my God.
Where you die, I will die,
and there I will be buried.
Thus and more may the Lord do to me
if anything but death parts me from you.
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